So long 2006

And it was 'so long'!

2006 has for me seemed to drag on forever. It hasn't in many ways been my best year, in fact to say it has been one of the hardest of my life to date, would probably not be an overstatement. It's seen me go through the break up of a relationship, lose my home as a consequence, move 500 miles to my parents, almost lose Tilly (situation still pending) and be declared personally bankrupt. Yup...I think in many respects I recall having had better years!

But it has not all been bad. 2006 has also seen me face some of my greatest demons...and beat them or at least stare them in the face, it has been the year I learned to take some big risks, to jump blindfold off the precipice of life and trust that somehow I would land in a place that was bearable, if completely unknown. Often I still feel in 'freefall', often I still feel scared half to death but even that I suppose is part of the learning curve and part of what life has become about for me.

This year has seen some of my greatest emotional extremes, almost daily at times, as circumstances and emotional issues have created in me some desperate lows but also some amazing highs and one way and another I have got through it all....often not too elegantly but I made it this far none the less.

My year has seen me do things and go places I never imagined I would or could and contrarily it has given me one of the best days of my life and some memories that will stay with me forever. None of this would have been possible without the immense support and care I have been privileged to be on the receiving end of from so many people.

So thank you to you all who stood by me, and yes, that includes you lot here in the blogosphere who were rooting for me throughout and who left me comments and mails of encouragement, help and advice, even when at times this blog was probably about the most depressing thing you read in an average day!

Among those who helped me get through this year there are a few who deserve special thanks, my parents of course for putting up with me day in and day out, 'JW' for always being there when I need him, Lisa who as ever is a friend in a million and of course the individual who said to me (and I quote) "You make it happen, not me, all I can do is open the doors, you have to find the strength to walk through them, and that's the tough bit (and opening doors is easy unless they are on one of those really stiff door closer things)!", to that person: without your understanding and patience, your intellect and care I would never have made it this far and I reckon the 'door closer thing' must have been pretty tough from time to time....so a special thank you to you.... you are an absolute star and you have helped me more than you will ever admit.

And so onward into 2007, I have learned a fair amount of stuff over this last year I hope, about life and about myself and good or bad I wouldn't have missed it. My enduring memories will be very mixed but the good outweigh the bad and whilst I can live without a repeat performance this year has given me a whole new outlook and hopefully a bit more backbone.

All that remains then, in case I don't make it back here before the onset of 2007, is to wish you all a very happy and peaceful new year, here's hoping it's gonna be a good one for us all! :o)

Tilly is back!

Yes, 'madam' is returned from her none too popular 'holiday abode' and leaving a small trail of devastation in her wake presumably to remind us of her disapproval and just how much we miss her carrying-ons!


Every cloud has a silver lining as they say, for despite her displeasure at the whole issue her usual lack of interest in eating when cattery bound has meant she has returned looking less plump and rather elegantly feline!


There is more to come though, for circumstances over this festive period require she returns to the dreaded place again soon for a few days, and whilst she was instructed by the vet to diet there is a happy medium!

Hopefully with a little more 'practice' she will learn that we do always fetch her and this self imposed starvation business is not necessary!

Sometimes.....

....a track just really 'gets' to you....

Happy Christmas

So, the countdown is nearly over, I have finally managed to get some gifts bought in a marathon one day shopping spree and got myself a little more organised than I had been up until this point!

Tilly puss is in her much disliked 'holiday home', the tree is decorated and a turkey is lurking somewhere.

I'll be spending the time here with my parents and 'Fletch' and as things speed toward the big day I am unlikely to make it here to bash out another post so all that remains is to wish you all much mirth, merriment and peace over the coming mad few days.

Have a good one guys! :o)

Christmas cat of grumpiness!

Do you think she knew she was about to go to the cattery for the duration? :o(

Schools out!

Today is a good day, I have just completed my final day in the dreaded white van until next year! My first real Christmas holiday since.....well since so long ago I don't remember since when, but at least 20 years....and I intend to enjoy it!

Of course, the final day could not possibly pass without becoming from the outset, 'eventful', oh no, no chance of that, just one day without incident was too much to hope for.

I arrived in thick, freezing fog at 6.15am to the news that all the company vans had been vandalized overnight. It appears that my employer is the victim of some kind of small time vendetta, this vandalism issue is not new, there have been other incidents just in my short time there. Do I look surprised? Nope, I thought not....lets face it, one can't operate like this place does without rubbing someone up the wrong way at some point and eventually one is likely to reap the er, 'benefits' of such questionable business practice. That said, it's hardly a mature way to deal with whatever issue has been the cause of someone's distain but whatever....my already 'delightful' van was minus it's windscreen wipers when I arrived. The police had already been and gone and I was met with the news I was to take the jalopy out anyways....apparently as it wasn't raining my boss considered I had little need for wipers!

I think the look on my face said it all as I pointed out that I already have one missing indicator, one missing headlight...the other stuck on sidelights, no brake lights, two very questionable tyres, a heater blower that doesn't, a bumper hanging limply about four inches from the tarmac, a sticking accelerator and four doors that don't close properly! Come on now, no wipers added to that is not likely to help my case should I be pulled over now is it?!

His reply....to offer me a window scraper and a bottle of water!!!! Yeah, that's gonna do the trick in sub zero temperatures ain't it.....Not!

In the end my protestations fell on deaf ears....this is selective deafness on his part bought on by the thought of losing a days takings, the God money is this guys sole motivation in life and in the end my choice was to take the van out or take a hike. I took the van out....hey, I need the money too.

I set off very gingerly in the freezing fog on country lanes that have never in their life seen a gritter and by the time I had completed maybe just ten miles I had lost count of the times I had stopped to scrape crap and ice off the windscreen and had already very gently and elegantly 'broadsided' the van around a corner.

My patience was lost, I called my boss, told him I would go get it fixed if he wouldn't and took it into the local 'please mend my van in a hurry' garage. They did, though with two odd sized wipers, miss-matched and too small but beggars can't be choosy and I wasn't, the drivers side worked and that was a 100% better than it had started off!

The rest of course remains in a state of disrepair but I'm kinda getting used to all that, to having to do hand signals and look behind me before I brake etc.....hell, what would I do if I didn't have all that to think about?!

So, the day passed in a haze of thick fog, frost and ice but eventually I completed my round and now I can forget it all for almost two whole weeks!

Yayyyyyyy. :o)

Some Tilly-ness

It seems an age since I wrote here about Tilly, so long in fact I can't recall the last time I did.

The reasons are various, namely that my laptop has completely died so the photograph thing is a little problematic right now and for a while I was very wary of tempting fate by mentioning that for the time being at least she is still with me.


So what has she been up to. Well firstly her diet seems not to have done the trick, or at least she and I haven't managed to gain to tight a control over her eating habits and hence she is still a little 'portly'! We have promised each other we will try harder in the new year, her at not eating in a fashion reminiscent of a large horse and me at not giving in so readily to her pleading looks by an empty bowl! Hmmm....we'll see.

This week has seen her first experience of a Christmas tree, last year she was tiny and I was convinced the tree would prove too much temptation so didn't have one, but I have to give her her due this year, whilst there have been one or two 'slip-ups' in the main she has been remarkably well behaved and thus far has only managed minor wrecking sprees on a few occasions....I won't speak too soon though, 'well behaved' is not her forte! ;o)

She still persists in sleeping on my head and in waking me at 5am most mornings though at the moment that is a bonus and guarantees I'll be up in time for work....the weekend is another matter entirely though but last weekend she managed to allow me a small lie-in! :o)

Winter she has decided is not quite her 'thing'. Her days of gallivanting in the garden have come to an abrupt halt since she had a rather major 'run in' with a big local Tomcat and came off the worst for the encounter. That along with the dramatic drop in temperature have reduced her to very short trips to the 'bathroom', a preference to laying stretched out under a radiator and to much time looking at the outside from inside!

As I mentioned at the start of this post, for now we are still here together and though I am still scared to tempt fate it is beginning to look like there is a possibility it might stay that way. I have absolutely everything crossed but for now I'm not counting my chickens. The thought of losing her now seems even harder than it did a few months back and the thought of going through all that upset is not something I want to deal ever again so it's fingers firmly crossed that somehow this time it will work out.

So that's about it, a quick round-up and a new picture of madam and her antics, she is off to the cattery for a few days over Christmas which won't please her (or me) but will allow my parents who now I'm at work have taken on much of the day to day feeding etc. a few days 'Tilly rest' and a few days without having to pick every Christmas card off the floor at least a thousand times a day!

Pet rules!

(To be posted VERY LOW [snout height] on the refrigerator door)

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the

middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food
and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is

not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline
attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!


To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Remember: dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

I woke up this morning....

....as one does on occasion in a state of 'ugh-ness' and panic at the realisation that Christmas is now only a week away and I am still completely unprepared for it!

I don't 'do' disorganisation very well, I like to have things sussed as a general rule and yet this Christmas I seem to have 'gone to pot' in a big way.

I still have way too many gifts un-bought and little idea of what to buy to rectify that situation, I have managed to gather together some cards but as yet they are still nicely packaged and completely un-written, and aside from Christmas day itself, which we will spend with my parents, I have absolutely no idea where or what I will be doing for the rest of the festive season. This is the first year I have been in a job (if you can call it that) where I have the whole period off work (unpaid mind you....eekkk, I need the money) but I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself.

For reasons I won't bore you with I have a slightly difficult week ahead of me before I even make it to the season of 'joy' and right now I still just wish I could hibernate until next year and a return to some semblance of normality.

Ok....I'm gonna go back to bed and see if I can wake up in a better frame of mind.....

Bah, bloody humbug!

Doodle!

This is amazing....the mother of all doodles....click HERE.

Thanks JW.

Christmas kiss!

Those among you who are unfortunately familiar with the vagaries of some cat behaviour might appreciate this.... in a cringing kind of way!

Another crap van.....

....and another small disaster!

This week it seems is not turning out to be my best. After yesterdays carrying-ons I had kind of hoped for a better day today....harumph, it was not to be.

The new van (ok, it's way older than the last one....why are you not surprised?) is barely an improvement, though it does boast a heater of sorts, a functioning (just) propshaft and central locking.....and thereby hangs my problem of today.

My delightful employer failed to tell me that the button on the key is so sensitive that just the act of turning the ignition off is likely to activate the locking system and of course, wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what happened. I stopped at my second call of the morning, turned the ignition off, got out, shut the door and hey presto...I was firmly locked out. FFS! I was far from full of Christmas joy I can tell you!

This time I was determined not to call for assistance only to be the recipient of more hassle and so made a deal with the guys on the site I was at: anyone who could get me into my van without causing damage could have what they liked to eat on me.

It worked like a dream, ten or so of them pitched in trying one way or another, until one guy (presumably of slightly dubious 'history') told me to look away and he would get me in....20 seconds later I was in...... I was happy, I care not how or why he learned to do it, the fact that he could was fine with me and all it cost me was the price of a breakfast....more than worth it to avoid the hell I would have suffered had I called the boss! :o)

The death of a disaster legend

The white van from hell is dead! I killed it!

Now, before any of you start making utterances about women drivers and all that malarky, let me fill you in on a few details here.

The route I drive everyday in the pursuit of making the lunchtimes of the locality a moment of gourmet magic is in the main on country roads. One of these 'highways' in particular is liable to flooding in a number of places. There is a longer route but after more than a few arguements with boss #2 I gave in and did as I was told i.e. "not waste time (time is money yada, yada, yada) driving the extra miles" and instead plough on through the floods when they occur. Assured as I was that a diesel angine won't give out because it has no distributor! Now this guy is supposed to be a time served mechanic among other things but even I know that engines are more complicated than that but having argued my corner, drive through I did...on numerous occasions over the last month.

Today was different. The heavens opened and my route flooded 'very nicely' in the middle of nowhere and as ever I gritted my teeth and went for it....only to come to a grinding halt in the middle of a flood maybe a foot deep, ten car lengths in width and a considerable length. This flood took over the road, went up the bank and carried on into the woods at either side.

So what was I to do? I was stranded in the pouring rain and my only route for escape was to wade out...yeah right, fat chance. I called my boss, the one who instructed me that the van wouldn't give up and requested rescuing...he was not impressed and as I had suspected might be the case (with his parents being the other partners in the business) he started trying desperately to wriggle out of responsibility for the debacle first claiming he hadn't advised me to drive through and then that he hadn't realised 'which flood I meant' (despite having claimed to have drive through it himself on many occasions)!

And sit in my small lake I did, with the water rising
above the doors and gradually seeping in...and I waited and waited and waited....

In the meantime the rain continued to pour down and other traffic wishing to use the route intermittently pulled up infront of me flashing lights or 'hooting', presumably to get me to shift (this is a one track road). Now forgive my ignorance here but there I was, knee deep in a small lake, stuck smack, bang in the middle of the road with my hazzard warning lights on..what exactly were they expecting me to do? Did they imagine I was sat there for the good of my health? Was my predicament not apparent to even the most stupid of individuals?

A large pick up even turned up, two builders got out, stood at the edge of my personal 'lake', asked me what had happened, then laughed.....and drove off. Hello.....it might have been nice to offer me a tow or at least have 'rescued' me from my cab!

Finally my boss appeared looking none too pleased and failing completely to grasp the principle that this was his fault....and he had come without a two rope!!! FFS!!!.

At this point my patience was wearing a tad thin-ish and I was very cold and wet so I pointed out that he might like to drive himself to a local garage where he might find assistance. He did...leaving me behind still stranded in my cab, the thought that I might be getting just a tiny bit disgrunteld very pissed off sitting like a fool in a big puddle never seemingly crossed his mind!

I won't bore you with the rest but suffice to say two very nice guys in a truck arrived sometime later and hauld me and my van to dry land and then to their garage where the van was pronounced D.O.A. Yup, I told him it would happen, I argued with him time after time but he wouldn't have it and yet, somehow now, it is deemed my fault that the white van from hell needs a new engine and is considered a write off!!

Belive me, I have made my position and my feelings crystal clear. If I had been idiot enough to choose that course of action for myself as opposed to under his insistent instruction I would be only to happy to take the fall...... but 'new girl' or not I'm not having this pinned on me and if I have to walk I will. I am livid. It's bad enough that he was so stupid but to now try and wriggle free of the responsibility for the outcome infuriates me....it's not gonna happen I promise you.

Hey...on the upside I get a different van tomorrow, surely it can't be any worse....can it?

Butch Cattidy & Sundance?

Heh :o)

Thanks JW

Ohhhh.....

.....I've just noticed this little spot in the blogosphere has passed the 80000 hits mark...whoda thunk it!

Certainly not me!

Panic is setting in....

.....it's less than three weeks until Christmas and the normally 'organised to the Christmas hilt' gemmak hasn't even bought a Christmas card yet, let alone had any inspiration as to what gifts to buy, or further more how to finance said purchases!

Do you think anyone would notice if I just hibernated for a few weeks? ;o)

How ridiculous!

Ok...so clumsy me, I dropped my mobile phone a few days back and broke the back cover. Upon investigation I discovered it is not a part that can be purchased at retail so contacted o2, the provider from whom it originally came. Bear in mind I have only had this phone three or four weeks.

O2 very kindly said they would send me a replacement part free of charge and that it would be with me by yesterday....you know what's coming don't you? of course you do, it didn't arrive. I called again today to confirm it was in transit only to be informed that they can't provide the part and have no idea why I was told otherwise!!! My displeasure at their lack of reliability was registered and I was told to go to an o2 store where the part could be ordered.

Off I trundled to said store.

The staff in said store informed me they 'don't order parts' and had no idea why I was informed otherwise!!! FFS I registered further displeasure and 'suggested' that they call their head office whilst I was there to sort this debacle out. They did....no joy, both laid blame and responsibility at each others door!

I was by this time beginning to breath fire and the 'sales associate' dealing with me was beginning to look a little flustered.

I took over the phone conversation and made it reasonably clear I expected one or other of them to sort this out, afterall, I only wanted one small part that by their own admission was only a couple of quid. The lady on the end of the phone contacted Nokia (apparently) and came back to me saying they couldn't provide the part either!! Hello? They manufacture the damn phone so if they can't I wondered who the hell can?! The answer, apparently no one!!

My displeasure became more intense. By this stage I had spent maybe and hour and a half talking to half-wits, getting conflicting advice and very little in the way of results.

Finally 'girl wonder' on the end of the line said she had a solution....wait for it....she would send me out a new phone! I explained yet again I only need one part of the cover, they didn't need to waste a whole handset but it fell on deaf ears. Apparently they can only send out whole phones, not just parts and the suggestion she just take the back off the phone and mail it to me thereby at least saving the cost of a courier, was met with complete confusion!!!

I gave up at that point! If they see fit to waste £300 then who am I to stop them I thought but hells bells, it's the 'throw away' society gone mad....is it any wonder we are using upresourcess at such a rate of knots when a company of such magnitude behave in such a ridiculous manner?

How a woman's brain works!

This was sent to me as an email by a friend (thanks 'Retroguy')....the image struck a chord with me...my brain feels just like this lately....oh, and I couldn't resist the punchline!

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:



Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

*Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls! ;o)

...but I don't 'do' cooking!

When I saw my job as the driver of the white van from hell advertised it said nothing about 'cooking'. In fact it very carefully didn't it seems to me, what it actually asked for was a 'sandwich van salesperson'. Had it mentioned anything remotely involved with culinary skills you would have seen me headed in the opposite direction....and fast!

There are things I do and things that I definitely don't do and one of the definite don'ts is anything remotely associated with food, aside from eating it of course or dipping the odd strawberry into deliciously melted chocolate. Domestic I can be, cleaning, ironing, washing, vacuuming...all no problem but things culinary...ugh! Ok, so my way to a mans heart is not through his stomach! ;o)

It has come as somewhat of a shock to me therefore to discover that by 06.30 each weekday morning I am up to my armpits in 'sandwich making' equipment, for in reality not only do I have to deliver said delights but I also have to produce them all myself beforehand, this is not good, it does not start my day well to be surrounded by commercial quantities of various hams, cheeses, salad stuffs and other assorted 'fillings', nor do mountainous piles of empty baguettes, and other bread products fill me with joy with there apparent need to be transformed into attractive lunchtime fare, by my own hand.



But fill them I must and if you please, at the rate of approximately 60 an hour.... yes, that's one a minute, no mean feat let me tell you. That includes wielding an electric knife (OMG), the 'buttering' procedure (though the stuff we use has long since lost any resemblance to real butter) and the tidy and attractive inclusion of usually something in the region of five or six different items of filling...all of which are hell bent on not remaining where I originally put them!

But there is worse still to come. Once I have fought tooth and nail with lettuce, beetroot, stuffing, pineapple, corn, etc. etc. etc and various dead animals and persuaded them successfully to 'stay put' I then have to somehow maneuver them into a long thin bag and then into a 'sealing' contraption, all the time fighting the attempts of the darned stuff to escape and fall untidily into an ungainly heap at the bottom of the bag!

Now this might not sound like too much of a trauma to most of you but I really don't 'do' cooking and to me this comes under the heading of cooking, it involves food and knives doesn't it? Yes? so it's cooking then and I don't do it, I just don't!...or at least I didn't!

...but three weeks in and I've got it mastered, I've got a routine and a plan and this morning by 7.30 all 60 were done and dusted and immaculately waiting to be sold within the ridiculous given timeframe. There they were all tidy and yummy looking, nothing hanging out or sitting sadly at the bottom of the bags and at last, my supervisor (I use the term loosely here) who can rarely let a moment go by without criticism, could find nothing to winge about!

...but I still don't 'do' cooking! Ppffttt.