TGIF!!!!

Thank God (or whoever your particular 'God' happens to be) it's Friday!!

I don't ever want another week like this one, it has to rate in my top 5 worst ever and I am more than glad to see the back of it. This was the first week since I moved that I seriously began to question whether my sanity would hold out, but one way or another, and with some fantastic support, I managed to 'hold it together' though not always too elegantly and only because I have such a wonderful 'support team'...thank you again guys.

I still have my biggest worry to sort out and to come to terms with, (sorry but I can't bring myself to blog the details yet) though slowly I think I'm getting some small degree of a grip on that one too.... but for now it's Friday and I'm determined for the sake of my mental health and that of those around me to try and have two days of R&R and to put all the crap somewhere in the back of my mind until next week.

So that's it, the week is over and I'm outta here for a weekend of sex and drugs and rock and roll....ok, maybe not quite that wild ( hey...I don't do drugs), but if nothing else I'm gonna hit my tee total years on the head, get drunk and eat chocolate by the barrow load! ;o)

Bankrupt!

Today at 12.21 pm gemmak was declared officially bankrupt.

I was struck by the fact that the judge is required by law to record the time the bankruptcy order is made on the official documentation and to 'announce' it, it kinda reminded me of the manner in which a doctor is required to record the time of an individuals death, the irony was not lost.

The day went as well as could be expected. I plumped for the 'suited and booted' approach but minus the Prada (like I own any!) and off I set to face the music.

I have to say that the court officials were excellent, efficiency personified, they took me through the checks on the 35 page (yes I said 35, it wasn't a typo) petition I had already submitted in a flash, without hiccup and in a relaxed manner I hadn't expected.....my time with the 'big guy' however wasn't quite so pleasant.

I assumed I would be seen by a judge in chambers but no, it was the full hit court room scenario, save for the fact there was only he, myself and a video camera 'in residence'.

Emotionally it was a very odd and none too enjoyable experience. He was as one would expect a faceless, suited gent who seemed to spend an eternity pawing over my petition in detail interspersing his note taking and small grunts with questions. I felt suddenly very small, almost like a child waiting to be berated by the headmaster for some heinous misdemeanor. All I could think was what on earth must this man be thinking of someone like me. There he sat, midway through his own presumably successful career with all the associated trappings, making judgment on me who has literally nothing of monetary value save for a five year old car. My life and his must be about as diametrically opposed right now as it is possible to be.

I promise you, today was not an experience designed to boost one's pride in oneself.

Eventually having satisfied himself of the facts he agreed to make the order and pronounced me bankrupt with an almost apologetic tone. I wasn't sure whether I should thank him, punch the air that it was over or cry, the latter seemed to threaten dangerously for a moment but what little pride I had left won over and off I went for my first interview with the official receiver with my head held high and a very hollow feeling somewhere inside me.

I have yet to have interview #2 with these guys in a few weeks, it will be at that point I learn the fate of my car but in essence that's it, I am debt free but at a very different kind of cost.

So that's it, I'm now officially an undischarged bankrupt.

C'est la vie....I had no other option I know..... and hopefully in a few days I will begin to feel it's the beginning of a new start and all that, but for now the hollow 'thing' in my gut still prevails and I'm still wondering how one receives a salary (when I get one) or pays standing orders etc. for a year with no bank account.......

Do Prada take cash?

Tomorrow sees me take one more step on the path that has become the destruction or rebuilding, depending on your perception, (mine wavers from day to day at the moment) of what was once my life, for tomorrow I have my appointment in court with a guy in a funny wig and gown....do judges wear all the regalia in 'non-criminal' proceedings?.....who will declare me bankrupt all things being equal.

Odd though it may seem this little 'court appearance' seems to have become lost among other more upsetting difficulties over the last few days, the up-side of which is that I have barely given it thought let alone gotten into a state of panic over it, every cloud has a silver lining eh?

My current and most pressing consideration (and yes I know it's a girly thing) is what should I wear?...under usual circumstances an appearance in court would warrant (no pun intended) that I get suited and booted, pull out all the stops and look like I mean business but should a woman applying for bankruptcy look 'together'? Would it not be more suitable to go looking down at heel, like I don't have a penny to my name (which is about true) and I have just been dragged unceremoniously through a thick hedge? Who knows, maybe I'll err on the side of caution and fence sitting and hit a mid point somewhere!

So that's it, by this time tomorrow my financial life will be all over bar the shouting, I'm not sure quite how I feel about it anymore, making the application, submitting it and knowing it's going to happen is one thing....actually walking out as an undischarged bankrupt might be another entirely.....the best I can do I suppose is accept it's the only route I can take and try to see it as the resolution to a problem and move on.

Do Prada take cash?

Sorry, I shouldn't be flip I know but if I didn't laugh and all that.......

Life happens ~ reprise

I posted this a year ago, almost to the day, little did I know then quite how appropriate it would be a year later!

"This is the 21st century, we have control, from the cradle to the grave we make our decisions large and small, we shape our lives, we plot, we plan, everything is within our sphere, our power, we choose our destiny and the choices are many.

Much is grey though some black or white, our destiny chosen, we head toward that place, certain of our goal.

They say don't they, that we make our own luck?

At times life happens, the control is gone, the choices gone, changed or re-arranged, the once straight path, headed to a place we thought we knew becomes a muddied track. Plans made evaporate, ideologies stand challenged by incidents outside our common realm. We stand confused as life's curved balls make tracks toward us, one by one, in certainty still, we catch them deftly, re-plan, re-shape, re-gain control.

One is dropped, no matter, two then three, our minds flail lost, they came unbidden, four then five, control a foreign concept now.

Luck? Luck is not an absolute, luck is not a plan nor destiny, luck is not a tangible gift bestowed, or not, upon us, control is not a power, we have no power, we have no luck......... we have only an attitude of mind.

Life shit happens."

Bear with me....

...please if things become a little quiet in gemmak's-ville over the next few days.

Life has presented me with a particularly difficult problem recently and I might go temporarlily AWOL whilst I try to get my head around it all.

....and a special big thank you to my 'support team' (they know who they are)....I know I'm testing your collective stamina right now but I appreciate your support more than you know.

Yesterday I Got Stoned!

No, not what your thinking :o)

I went for a visit to Avebury Stone Circle in Wiltshire. Avebury is one of Europe's largest prehistoric stone circles, a bit like Stonehenge but far better.


By chance, whilst partaking in a little light refreshment at the local pub, the Red Lion, the only Pub in the world that is actually located within a Stone Circle, a Druidic Wedding was taking place. Lots of 'Odd' looking folk, hippies, new age travellers etc. all dressed up in Priests gowns banging on drums and chanting.

Most excellent people watching and maybe the only time I've ever visited a pub that was so busy, but knew (because alcohol wasn't the only substance for relaxation being consumed ;o) ), there wasn't going to be any trouble.

All in all, a most interesting day out and a life style that has its attractions.

Education today!

Couldn't resist ;o)

A picture is.....

...worth a thousand words!!!

....and I doubt it will require a massive amount of thought for you to work out what happened here!!!!

'Madam' was way too proud of herself...the bird, a pigeon almost the same size as she is, escaped, though quite how it managed subsequently with such a lack of plumage, I don't like to consider.



(Clickable)

It's official....well almost!

As of yesterday evening, at the press of a button, gemmak is officially financially defunct (another word came more readily to mind there but I resisted, it's amazing what one can do online now!

There is no turning back now, my bankruptcy application had made it's electronic way to the insolvency service and been accepted in principle. All that remains now is for me to attend a grilling with a judge, likely sometime next week, (it seems to be a fast turnaround this bankruptcy business) and if my case is looked upon favorably that will be it....gemmak will be a bankrupt.

Ok, I have then to wait a month for the receiver to decide if he wishes to relieve me of any of my possessions, like I have any, though my car is of concern, if that goes so does any remaining vestige of feeling a degree of independence I had. I can only hope it is considered way to much of a 'shed' now to be worth the bother!

Ain't life grand!

It has been suggested to me, by someone better able than myself right now, to see the positive in this, that I should be viewing it as the opportunity for a fresh start. Yup, good point it is but right now, whilst my common sense agrees my emotions don't seem to be keeping up with that thought!

Repeat after me.....

"I will not let this make me bitter.......angry,.....f*cked off........ raging......"

much!

Comments, or lack of!

I know, I have a habit of apologising here for one thing or another, usually my lack of speed in replying to emails from time to time, well here's another apology, this time for my being so remiss of late in replying to comments you so kindly leave. I promise, I read all of them, I even formulate responses in my mind but my time online recently is so limited I sowmehow rarely seem to actually manage to get fingers to keys and 'articulate' my replies.

I do appreciate your commenting though, particularly through this somewhat 'unusual' period of my life and I will get back to some degree of reply normality as soon as I can.

Oh....and on the subject of commenting, anyone know why I can't comment on any blogs that are using the new Blogger beta version? It just wont have it, no way, not a hope! :o(

Vantage point!

For Joanna...Tilly pictures :o)

Reflection of life in the UK ?

I'm not usually given to 'Britain bashing' but this little gem landed in my inbox recently and has an uncanny feel of reality about it!

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.

The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrels's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britains apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.

They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END

A Tilly first

So, picture the scene (and it's not a particularly attractive one), it's early morning, a damp and dismal start to the day and having already made it to my first caffeine and nicotine hit I'm two floors up attending to my ablutions when I hear from the garden faint panicking sounds coming from my mother

My father is way this week and concerned my mother might have had some mishap befall her I listen more intently..... and with small big panic rising realise she is talking in very concerned tones to Tilly. Always one to panic first and think later I race the two flights of stairs, three at a time convinced at the very least, that 'madam' has been injured and my mother maybe struggling to deal with whatever situation she has been faced with.......but what do I find?

My mother is indeed struggling with squirmy small cat, though somewhat carefully for she is mindful of Tillys claws and teeth, items she is not adversed to sinking into soft flesh. The reason for the cat/mother tussle rapidly becomes apparent as I near the furor....Tilly has her first ever catch (rubber bands aside), a still very much alive tiny, cute ball of fieldmouse, as yet not dispatched to the big mousehole in the sky.... and she is rather determined to hold onto it!

Whilst my mother may not be too adept at this procedure unfortunately for Tilly's pride I am and with one swift shake the tiny round mouse was rescued from feline jaws, Tilly was put unceremoniously indoors and off I went to investigate the state of her prey. All it seemed was well, there was no sign of injury and the little creature, as tiny as it was managed to bite me hard enough to draw blood! Mouse was put into the shrubbery and after a reasonable period of 'forgetting time' Tilly was released from her incarceration!

She has been spotted since almost continually 'parked' atop the compost heap monitoring intently the spot from where her quarry originated, in the apparent hope presumably, that it has been stupid enough to return and that her next attempt at proudly presenting her grandmother with a 'gift' won't be so unkindly thwarted!!!

One Dream

A dream, swathed in swirling, gentle, midnight moonglow,
the minds eye, imaginations of the soul, just a moment, a breath away.

A dream, so near, so far, gently hued and winged in feathers, soft,
unfettered thoughts reach out to unreality, reality?
words drifting, whispered into silent, blue black night.


A dream, ethereal magic, star studded, soul touched, set free to soar,
behind eyes, heavy lidded, closed, a world apart, hand outstretched in gossamer gentle, silken threaded, grasp.

A dream unspoken, unheard, a moment, a second in time suspended, a golden orb, moon-like, in conciousness held, eternally.
For fleeting moment touched, warm wrapped, safe in vulnerablility.

A dream, one dream held close, moon-glow haloed in dark starred silent night.
One dream, one wish.......one moon.

Television addict

Meme with a difference, stolen from
Justitia because I haven't done one of these in what seems like an age.

Instructions: Bold (or change the color) of all of the following TV shows which you've seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime. Bold and Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode of it. If you want, add up to 3 additional shows (keep the list in alphabetical order).


24
3rd Rock from the Sun
7th Heaven
Adam-12
Aeon Flux
A.L.F
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
Alias
Allo Allo
American Idol/Pop Idol/Canadian Idol/Australian Idol
America's Next Top Model/Germany's Next Top Model
Angel
Arrested Development
Babylon 5
Babylon 5: CrusadeBattlestarGalactica (the old one)Battlestar Galactica (the new one)Baywatch
Beavis & Butthead
The Ben Stiller Show
Beverly Hills 90210
Bewitched
Bonanza
Bones
Bosom Buddies
Boston Legal
Boy Meets World
Brady Bunch
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bug Juice
Casualty
Chappelle's Show
Charlie's Angels
Charmed
Cheers
China Beach
Columbo
Commander in Chief
Coronation Street
Coupling
Cowboy Bebop
Crossing Jordan
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Dallas
Dancing with the Stars
Danny Phantom
Dark Angel
Dark Skies
Davinci's Inquest
Dawson's Creek
Dead Like Me
Deadliest Catch
Deadwood
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Designing Women
Desperate Housewives
Dharma & Greg
Different Strokes
Doctor Who (new Who)
Doctor Who (series 1-26)
Dragnet
Due South
Dungeons and Dragons (old cartoon)
Dynasty
Earth 2
Emergency!
Entourage
ER
Everwood
Everybody Loves Raymond
Facts of Life
Falcon Crest
Family Guy
Family Ties
Fantasy Island
Farscape
Fawlty Towers
Felicity
Firefly
Flamingo Road
Frasier
Friends
Full House
Futurama
Get Smart
Gilligan's Island
Gilmore Girls
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Green Wing
Grey's Anatomy
Growing Pains
Gunsmoke
Happy Days
Head of the Class
Highlander
Hill Street Blues
Hogan's Heroes
Home Improvement
Homicide: Life on the Street
House
I Dream of Jeannie
I Love Lucy
Invader Zim
Invasion
Iron Chef (Japan)
Iron Chef (USA)
Ironsides
JAG
Jackass
Jeopardy
Joey
John Doe
Kath and Kim
Knight Rider
Knots Landing
La Femme Nikita
LA Law
Laugh-In
Laverne and Shirley
Law & Order
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Law & Order: SVU
Little House on the Prairie
Lizzie McGuire
Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Lost
Lost in Space
Love, American Style
M*A*S*H
MacGyver
Magnum P.I.
Malcolm in the Middle
Married...With Children
Melrose Place
Miami Vice
Mission Impossible
Monk
Moonlighting
Mork & Mindy
Murphy Brown
My Family
My Favorite Martian
My Life as a Dog
My Mother the Car
My So-Called Life
My Three Sons
My Two Dads
Mysterious Cities of Gold
NCIS
Night Court
Nip/Tuck
Northern Exposure
Not the nine o'clock news
Numbers
One Tree Hill
OzParker Lewis
Can't Lose
Perfect Strangers
Perry Mason
Picket Fences
Pirates of Darkwater
Pokemon
Power Rangers
Prison Break
Profiler
Project Runway
Psyche
Quantum Leap
Queer As Folk (US)
Queer as Folk (British)
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
ReGenesis
Remington Steele
Rescue Me
Road Rules
ROME
Roseanne
Roswell
Samurai Jack
Saved by the Bell
Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Scooby-Doo Where Are You?
Scrubs
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
Six Feet Under
Slings and Arrows
Smallville
Small Wonder
So Weird
South Park
Spaced
Spongebob Squarepants
Sports Night
Square Pegs
St. Elsewhere
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek: Enterprise
Stargate Atlantis - New season
Stargate
SG-1 -Newseason
Superman
Supernatural
Surface
Survivor
Taxi
Teen Titans
Teletubbies
That Girl
That 70's Show
That's So Raven
The 4400
The Addams Family
The Andy Griffith Show
The A-Team
The Avengers
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Bionic Woman
The Colbert Report
The Cosby Show
The Daily Show
The Days And Nights Of Molly Dodd
The Dead Zone
The Dick Van Dyke Show
The Flintstones
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Golden Girls
The Jetsons
The L Word
The Love
Mary Tyler Moore Show
The Mighty Boosh
The Monkees
The Munsters
The Mythbusters
The O.C.
The Office (UK)
The Office (US)
The Pretender
The Prisoner
The Real World
The Shield
The Simpsons
The Six Million Dollar Man
The Sopranos
The Suite
Life of Zack and Cody
The Twilight Zone
The Waltons
The West Wing
The Wonder Years
The X-Files
Third Watch
thirtysomething
Three's Company
Top Gear
Twin Peaks
Twitch City
Upstairs, Downstairs
Veronica Mars
Wings
What Not To Wear (US)What Not To Wear (UK)
Whose Line is it Anyway? (US)Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK)
Witchblade
Will and Grace
Wonderfalls
Wonder Woman
Xena: Warrior Princess
Young Hercules

Hmmmmm..I'm not sure I'm very proud of this, I might not watch TV nowadays but it looks like that wasn't always the case!!

As ever I'm supposed to tag three of you but I'm feeling kind, just do it if you want to and let me know in comments so I can check out if you're as addicted as I was!

Top ten quotes....

....as decided by 'The Board of Wisdom' and with thanks to 'Only Me' for the link.

I'm not sure some of these are quotes in the way we usually mean them but whatever, some are pretty good....#9 specifically!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. "We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly".

2. A girl asked a boy if she was pretty.
He said no.
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever.
He said no.
She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away.
He again said no.
She had heard too much.
She needed to leave.
As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay, he said,
"You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."

3. "I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind".


4. "The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them".

5. True Love Means...

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to happen.

Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Your having fun right?

Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scared

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.

Guy: Give me a hug.

*Girl hugs him*

Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take my Helmet off me and put it on you? It's bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building break failure. Two people found, but only one survived.

The Truth is: That halfway down the road the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug him for one last time. Then had her wear his helmet so she would live, even though it meant that he would die.

6. "The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."

7. "A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "that was f***ing awesome"

8. "What do you do when the only one that can make you stop crying, is the person who made you cry?"

9. Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

10. "No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all".

A sad anniversary

It's one year ago today that Poppy died. :o((


~ Never forgotten...sleep tight 'Poppy cat' ~

That's it....

...time is up I can't any longer prevaricate about my current situation.

I'm sick to death of living in this limbo, of having a thousand and one things to consider and to make decisions about. Maybe I needed time to let my mind adapt to the changes in my life recently, maybe I just needed a little time to think but whatever it was I did need I don't need it anymore, what I do need is to get some semblance of order back into my life and instead of thinking about what I'm going to do, actually do it!

There is no point mulling over the why's and where for's any longer, nothing to be gained by imagining that somehow, something will magically happen to alleviate the situation because it won't, this is the real world and shit happens so it's time for action and this week I will take action.

So many things depend right now on other things happening and the first is that I have to bite the bullet and file my bankruptcy papers with the courts. Goodbye credit rating, goodbye mortgages and credit cards...I have to enter the twighlight world of 'financial non-entity' but enter it I will and with a fist full of cash for ironically one has to pay a considerable sum for the priveledge

Ok, so an hour with a judge and another few with a receiver isn't my idea of fun but it has to be done, the sooner it's done the sooner I can begin looking forward to my discharge, not that in practice discharge from bankruptcy makes much difference, the courts might consider a year long enough punishment but most other institutions consider six years more appropriate!

Hey ho, it's a start, I can't say I relish the next week or two but it will be one less thing to worry about and consider and one more thing I can begin to consign to history.

Don't quit

I saw this while I was out and about at the weekend....kinda rung true and made me smile :o)

When things go wrong, and sometimes they will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when funds are low and debts are high and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must but don't you quit.

Life is strange with it's twists and turns as everyone of us sometimes learns,
and many a failure turns about, when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is much nearer than it seems to a faint or faltering man,
often the struggler gives up when he might have won the victors cup,
and when he learns too late as night comes down how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, it's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Skylight

What's a girl to do?

Life is looking pretty good today, my options are endless, well ok, maybe only in a day to day sense, the whole world isn't exactly at my feet but I'm looking forward to a good day!

The site of my recent dental trauma is by now allowing me to perform slightly more normally, I may even manage to eat enough not to spend the entire day hungry as I did the last two days, the long awaited prospect of being able to clean my teeth properly beckons, believe me, you didn't want to kiss me the last 48 hours and the pain is receding nicely. The only downside is a week of salt mouthwashes....not an attractive proposition but even the possibility of opening my mouth wide enough to enable that function is a pleasure after the last two days!

Add to all that, by circumstance I have unlimited internet access today, it's early and I'm surprisingly wide awake, I have coffee, feline company, a stack of books to read, a whole completely free day at my disposal.......and shops! Hell, what's a girl to do?

Now...in the mind of a female that probably doesn't seem a difficult decision to make but to the male of the species it's maybe less obvious, so let me explain: You see it's like this.......woman undergoes big and scary trauma, woman suffers pain and discomfort as a result, woman behaves with more than the usual degree of bravery in the face of adversity......the result; woman feels deserved of a treat and goes shopping!

See...no contest, the theory and actuality are straightforward.....

Woman considers herself to have suffered, the only real and true cure is to shop!

There is no choice!