Peke out!

Rarely have I been so amused as I was this afternoon. Whatever your affections for dogs this has to be one of the funniest and most unbelievable sights I have had the fortune to see for a while.

The store in which I work sells many very heavy items and as a consequence we offer a 'carry to car' service. This is not always as straight forward as it would seem, we frequently don't have a suitably strong member of staff available and it is amazing just how many apparently young, able bodied men will happily let a woman of my diminutive stature lug massive items to their car while they look on. .....did I forget to tell you that shop staff are generally considered to be a lower form of life by many? It is usual for our annoyance amusement to be centered around these types of incidents but today's hilarity came from a very different kind of customer.

The customer in question was a very nice and proper middle ages lady who entered the store carrying a Pekenese dog. We don't allow dogs to comply with health and safety law but it is not unusual for customers to think that by carrying the creature, they somehow circumnavigate the rules....it does not but we tend to turn a blind eye.

Anyhow, said dog carrying customer made a bee line for me and having attended to her purchases asked could I possibly carry them to her car for her. They were not heavy items but with her arms full of a dog so fluffy the back couldn't be distinguished from the front, she required help.

I duly complied and followed her to her car (parked at about the furthest possible point from the store) and was firstly slightly surprised to see this very proper lady driving a massive SUV. I loaded her purchases into the back of the vehicle and then went around the side to put one or two other items on the rear seat as I was asked. It was here that I became almost completely helpless with laughter, I tried, I honestly tried not to laugh but I failed dismally.....and what caused this hilarity? In the rear seat of the car was a baby seat, the full hit, the keep your baby completely and utterly strapped in safe kind of seat. Nothing too strange there perhaps.....but for the fact that snuggled down nice and safely in said seat was the dog! Thankfully my customer knew it was funny and laughed with me.....she explained the seat was theoretically for her grandchild though in reality it was the dogs seat! Well, she reasoned, the car sides are very high, he cannot see outside on his frequent journeys from the normal 'adult seating position'!

Maybe you had to see it, it was just such a funny sight.....I so wish I'd had my camera with me, or at least my phone, but sadly I didn't so you will just have to try and imagine the scene! :o)

Heavens above.......

.....it really isn't a natural state of affairs to be up and off to work at 05.40, happy Saturday........

Ugh!

Friday's feast (45)

Appetizer
Which keys do you have on your key chain?
House key, my parents house key, car key, 'stop lock' key and two that I have no idea what they are for any longer!

Soup
What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
Moving to Scotland.

Salad
Who is the best cook in your family?
My mother.

Main Course
If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be?
'How to give Liz Taylor a run for her money'!

Dessert
Name a recent fad you've tried.
The 'Crazy Frog' debacle. Gah!

A taste of things to come?

It is suggested, by those who forecast our weather, that we in the UK are in for a warm and sun filled Bank holiday weekend. Given this picture, taken at dusk yesterday evening, may I add a very large question mark to that for this little patch?

(Click to enlarge)

Dusk ~ 28.04.05

A small, spooky world!

A few weeks back I blogged on how late one evening I decided to search for other bloggers in my area. My search came up with just one result, a guy called John who lives just a few miles away, and from that point on he and I began mailing and visiting one another's blogs.

John's blog was private but he kindly gave me the URL, more recently it became not private and I added him to my blogroll....yup, it's 'John's web journal', down there on the right, which incidentally if you haven't done so already, is worth a read.

Anyways all that aside, we have been mailing since I first landed uninvited in his inbox but we have never met. This morning for no real reason, as I drove into work I considered that one day, surely we must run into one another or at the very least drive past one another, navigational options in this small corner of Scotland are not many.

Imagine my amazement then this afternoon on my drive home when I came up upon the rear of a vehicle that I knew to be the same model as his. Closer inspection revealed it to be the correct year of registration, what I thought was the correct colour, it carried inhabitants fitting his and his wife's descriptions. Everything matched, even down to the appropriate breed of dog peering out from the back! Nah....surely not I thought, too spooky, I continued on his tail trying to get a better look and then overtook....still I was not sure.

Immediately I got home I mailed him with the "were you on this road at this time and what colour is your car" questions, "yes" came his reply...."woman in a blue car"? Yes, I said!!!

It may not be too unlikely that eventually we would come across one another in such a small and unpopulated area eventually... but on the very same day I was thinking of it??

Spooky, very spooky!

'The Kiss'

It's odd how a small train of events can suddenly catapult one back in time, ok, so in this case only maybe 15-20 years but the unexpected sighting of a picture in the sidebar of Toasted Crumpet reminded me of a news item I heard yesterday and the two things together took me back those years.

There was a time, when I did a 'real' job, a job I loved and with responsibility, a job where I was able to make my own decisions and success or failure was in my own hands. Unfortunately the job didn't like me and after a number of years I had to leave, but that is another story.

The business I worked for retailed prints, both modern and fine art and was closely involved with publishers and in publication. One picture that we published at the time was 'The kiss', a Robert Doisneau picture taken many years before in 1950 in Paris. It had been published before but it's republish was a great success and tens of thousands of copies were sold. This image came to represent the essence of love and romance for at least one generation, many years after it was photographed.

Yesterday it was reported in the news that the female subject in the image had sold her original copy for a sum far in excess of what was expected, £105,000. What was disappointing was to learn that this picture, that had been such a representation of romance for so many was infact staged. Yes, she and her boyfriend of the time were a real couple and yes, Mr Doisneau came upon them by chance in the street but the actual shot used was staged......What's more, the couple only remained in each others company for a few months!

All that said, it remains one of my favourite images, reminds me of a good time in my life and given 105k, just how much would I love to own the original?!

Enjoy.

(Click to enlarge)

'The Kiss' ~ Robert Doisneau.

Counting the days

I am already counting the days until this damnable general election is history, over with, gone! The whole performance, for that is precisely what it seems to be, is driving me demented!

There was a time I would have classed myself as a political animal, in the heady days of Arthur Scargill, Tony Benn, Margaret Thatcher and the like, when I was young and naive enough to think I could actually make a difference, that if I voted, understood and persevered things might change......oh the idiocy of youth!

Every form of media is currently obsessed with the upcoming election, the TV constantly rings to the sound of Tony Blairs babble, the newspapers show pointless pictures of one or other politician 'playing the election game' and radio is bogged down by various political commentators saying his or her piece.

Good God! I could perhaps tolerate it all if just one of them uttered anything other than opposition mud-slinging, has anyone actually heard anything constructive from the mouths of these individuals yet, some of whom will ultimately hold our collective purse strings and decide how we live our lives....... thus far I sure as hell haven't.

So we tolerate these dire goings on, we trudge faithfully to the local school or community centre on the appointed day to place our cross in the box, like a flock of sheep...... and what for?

Five years more, a lifetime more of things remaining much the same, there is barely any distinction between those we can cast our vote for nowadays, they have all blended into one great grey mass, nothing will change worth a jot.

We will still pay our income tax at high rates to support those who can't be bothered to work. We will carry on supporting those who chose to give birth on at least three occasions, prior to the age of 16. We will still house them, give them beer money by the bucket load and provide them with grotesquely large plasma televisions, so they may be entertained while they plan their next Burberry purchase!

We will continue to allow all and sundry to enter the UK, regardless of their entitlement to do so, whilst making political points by removing one or two families, normally those who would appear to be model citizens, back to the country they fled in fear of their lives. I ask you, how many other countries would firstly allow 'everyone and his aunt' across their borders and then support them, provide them with medical care, a home and most other necessities of life as reward for illegally entering! But no....we must not say that for fear of being thought racist. Piffle, I am one of the least racist people you might imagine but it still gauls me that those who enter the UK legally get hauled over the coals and pulled from pillar to post and yet those that hang under trucks to get here are treated like kings.

Fuel will remain some of the most expensive in the Western world, consumer goods likewise, house prices will continue to soar, along with community tax, our police officers will carry on struggling against ever increasingly violent crime and farmers will continue to be paid vast sums, to produce precisely nothing at all!

I love my country, I honestly do, in many respects I feel lucky to live here but just sometimes, when I listen to the current political carryings of our merry band aiming for the top spot, I have to allow myself a little 'knee jerk' anger and frustration. In reality I know all these issues are more complicated than I paint them, nothing is straight forward and there are myriad reasons behind every situation..... but, just now and again I can't help but feel antagonism.

I will cast my vote, not too do so, particularly as a woman, is bordering on the criminal in my mind but there are times when I wonder why.

Gone!

It's gone....the template that caused pain in the eyes to some, was problematical for those opening it at work for others and had some straining their vision and physiology in an attempt to work it out, has been replaced by a nice safe cat!

You will also be pleased to hear that you may get a chance to get used to this one....I am working for the next six days (pffttt) so CSS fiddling time will be at a minimum, it will be all I can do to manage to post.

Incidentally, for those of you, (would I mention names?) making the attempts to see what was being kissed, you can download the complete pic here.

Eye see: Part 2

As predicted today saw me heading into town again and making a bee line for the opticians. By lunch time I was thoroughly fed up with my inability to walk in a straight line and my seemingly new found ability to bounce off walls, doorways and random pieces of furniture at regular intervals.

Thankfully upon my arrival I noticed that the half-wit who fitted the offending eyewear was nowhere in evidence. I was not in the mood for trying politely to suggest I would rather see someone else but as luck would have it, optician 'par excellence' whom I have had in the past deal with me, was available.

A few tweaks, the strange measuring of eyes and nose that goes on in this business and hey presto.....I could see again! Yes, she told me, "they will take some getting used to" but you "must persevere...no going back to the old ones, give it a few days and all will be fine". This lady I trust, she knows her stuff and certainly just her tweaking improved the situation markedly. If I as a lay-woman can understand the vagaries of varifocal lenses why then could the half wit who is employed in the field not, I wonder!?

There is of course a down side, it seems I am likely to need a second pair of specs exclusively for use with the pc.....more money, hey ho.

All I want to be able to do is see in comfort......nothing is ever simple!

Phew!

At last I have beaten Firefox and persuaded it to display my template correctly (I think!? notice the confidence here), I have even un-muddled the spacing in the sidebar for the main part....if anyone knows how to get the blasted FF to recognize a "ul" tag, please let me know ....it is all I have left to fix!!

Eye see

Last week, not before time, I at last took the proverbial bull by it's horns, braced myself, or rather my credit card, for the inevitable onslaught and visited an optician.

There was no question that this would be routine and that I would be sent packing with the result of an examination being 'no change'.....my eyes have been on stalks for months, I have tried every manoeuvre physically possible to find a tiny part of my current lenses through which to see adequately and all attempts have failed miserably.

And so it was, having had air puffed into my eyes, I hate that part and they do it three times nowadays, each time I jump like a fool, having read and re-read the same line of letters and had one light after another shone into my eyeball I emerged, watery eyed to a bill of almost £400. This apparently is not excessive according to the optician. After all she informs me, my choice is for state of the art, super lightweight, titanium frameless frames (is that not a contradiction?) and my lens prescription is complicated, wouldn't you know it. These frames I might add are identical to the one's I have been wearing for the last three years but apparently, despite the advertised strength of titanium, they dare not reglaze them for fear of breakage. Furthermore they will not insure them should they be reglazed. Gah, they have you every which way.

I accepted my fate, paid up and looked happy(ish) and today was summoned to collect this new eyewear.

How is it that something identical can be so different. My old glasses where kind of moulded to me, I didn't know they were there, the new ones of course feel like I am wearing someone else's shoes. I was er...'lucky' enough to receive the attentions of the one member of staff who appeared not to know what he was doing and I think a revisit tomorrow will be necessary to fit them properly! Then of course there is the aggravation that always occurs......I can't actually see out of these new lenses. I hate it, I know it's because my eyes are used to compensating for the wrong lens and they have to adjust to the new but that knowledge is no help right now, as I stumble around tripping over invisible things in my path and sit typing this with my head bobbing up and down trying to see the monitor! Heh.

I hardly dare say this.

Shhhh....come closer, I have to say this very quietly, if I dare say it at all, for fear of tempting the Gods of fate and of Blogger bestowing it's worst upon us once more!

Ok, that's close enough.....*whisper*....... Has anyone noticed just how efficient Blogger has become since the half hours planned downtime on Friday? Pages have been opening at the speed of light (well maybe I exaggerate a little but in comparison to the norm), template previews have appeared without the customary 10 minute built in break for coffee, publication has been almost instant and not a post, not one single post have I had to rescue from notepad!

Long may it continue!

No such thing as magic?

I disagree, I have proof, I am convinced, converted, a believer....there is magic!

A day or two ago I posted with reference to the fact that in Firefox my template doesn't bear inspection. To be more specific, the header was centered, the content floating left. No amount of fiddling with CSS or HTML would seem to fix it and even DKG didn't have the answer......he who always has the answer, the font of all knowledge on matters such as this, was scratching his head along with myself.

A few posted comments to say it looked fine in their browsers but for some of us it was a sorry sight. Late last night I threw in the towel and gave up, my minimal coding skills tested beyond endurance.

I promise you faithfully I changed nothing more, did nothing, abandoned it and went to bed.....and then, sometime as I slept, in the black of the night, unnoticed and silently the magic happened, for on waking this morning, still bemused I looked again......... and it was fixed, mended, all in straight lines, not a pixel out of place!

This has to be magic, there is no other explanation. The only person other than myself who has full access to my code, has no access to a computer right now and let's face it, no one is gonna try to hack or crack my account just to fix it!

See...magic!! Real, live, amazing magic happens, it's real, it exists and I won't be persuaded otherwise....DKG saw it too, it was not just me!

;o)

Happy happenings

This week the blogosphere seems to have been full of good news, well the bit I inhabit anyways.

Firstly earlier in the week, the happy end to a tale that had been on my mind for a while. Sque's 17 year old, indoor cat Tia, who had been missing for 19 days was sighted. The sightee sent Sque an email, which she almost didn't read in the belief that it was spam. However, the God's must have been keeping an eye on her because she did, and after further investigation Tia was found stuck in a building. After 19 days of very little food (if any) and water she is a bit on the thin side but is extremely happy to be home, as is her 'mother' to have her home.

So Tia's rescue was the first happy news and then his evening on my arrival home from a hard day at work, I flopped down infront of my pc (no great surprise there), pottered around the blogosphere for a few minutes and found news of the second happy happening.......here!

Neither of these things may change the outcome of the forthcoming election, neither may make it onto the front pages of tomorrows broadsheets, but both are far more interesting and have a much greater feel good factor than anything the mainstream media had to offer this week!

Friday's feast (44)

Appetizer
Name something that helps you fall asleep.
Er....being tired! apart from the obvious of course.

Soup
Who brings out the best in you?
PG....but he can also bring out the worst in me! heh

Salad
What do you like to do on a rainy day?
The same as I like to do on any day......er...be on this infernal machine fiddling.

Main Course
Complete this sentence: In our home, we never have enough...
Chocolate!

Dessert
Which shoe do you put on first?
Lord knows, I have no idea, right I think.

f-f-f-f-flippin' Firefox

I'm defeated, for the time being at least! I admit to being stumped, unworthy, useless, and entirely inept where Firefox is concerned.

Anyone viewing this page in the said browser will know immediately what I am talking about.....this template may be ok in I.E but it is far from it in Firefox. Arghhhh! I won't embarrass myself by telling you quite how long I have been trying to fix it but believe me I have tried, thus far failing dismally.

The 17% of you who hit me using the offending browser please bear with me, for fix it I will and if you feel so inclined as to make an inept and frustrated blogger a very happy blogger, feel free to hunt around my code and tell me what I left out or didn't put in, that has caused this small catastrophe. On second thoughts, I beg you....please, please, please, if you know the answer...... shout loud and clear before it drives me insane!

Let's hear it for the NHS

We hear all too often criticism of our NHS system and yet thus far I have only ever received an excellent level of care at the point of service....and believe me I am no stranger to hospitals.

Little ever seems to be mentioned about the doctors, nurses, auxiliary staff, technicians, caterers and administration workers who all, in my experience, carry out their duties in a highly professional and caring manner. Yes, there are shortfalls in the system certainly but for the main part they are not the fault or responsibility of those who staff our hospitals, or at least not those that we as the service user come into contact with and who are the guys on the front line suffering the day to day pressures and abuse.

It apalls me that each time I enter a hospital these days there appears to be a necessity for 'zero tolerance' notices regarding physical and verbal abuse against staff dotted around the walls of the various departments! Ok, if an individual has a problem or a complaint about the system fine, if it is valid take it up with those who hold the purse strings and make the decisions but why behave like a fuckwit and abuse the very people who are attempting to deliver the service with care and as much efficiency as they can muster....... Utterly amazing behaviour!

So why this outburst? Today, again, PG had an appointment at our local hospital. The term 'local' is subjective here, for it is 35 miles away but no matter, it is a pleasant journey and the sun was shining. This visit was to assess the knee he attempted to destroy the week we went on holiday to my parents. We arrived with half an hour to spare, bought a coffee from the ladies who work volountarily for the WRVS and made our way to orthopedic department. There is a new system in place here for more minor injuries, similar to triage and it worked wonderfully. We were ushered into a consulting room, on time I might add, for our appointment with a highly qualified physiotherapist who was to asses the knee for suitable further treatment. She did just that, politely, efficiently and with a high degree of professionalism. She took time to explain fully what she was doing and the procedure she was going to recommend. She even had at her disposal, 'working part' models of the relevant parts of the anatomy to assist those of us who are not anatomically trained, in understanding.

The whole idea and the manner in which it was carried out was excellent. Why use the resources to employ a consultant surgeon to assess a none life threatening condition, when there is another professional more than capable of doing the job?. In the 'old' system one saw the consultant for the diagnosis, then again to discuss the procedure and again on the day of surgery. The new system employed in this hospital weeds out those with injuries not requiring a surgeons skills and thereby free him or her up to reduce waiting times for those that do.

In PG's case unfortunately he does require surgery but he has been assessed within five weeks of his GP's referral and because of this 'triage' system his wait will be drastically reduced. The procedure will probably be carried out within months, at the outside a year....... not bad in my opinion, for something he can live with and is certainly not threatening his life.

So...let's hear it for the NHS eh? Less critisism for a service that in the main is excellent and whilst it is not free, I for one would not like to have had to pay the true cost of the treatments I have recieved over the years!

Oh happy, happy day!

Cast your mind back if you will, to the not so heady days of last summer, when out of the blue, I suddenly and without realisation, became responsible for my neighbour. Remember? The lady with the dog? Yup, that's the one.

For those who may be reading this and are not familiar with this tale, a small overview:

Said neighbour became ill one bright and sunny Sunday, all symptoms pointed to a heart attack and as one does in times of crisis, I stepped into the breach. She was whisked away to hospital for the appropriate care and I was left with the responsibility of her house, her dog, that I might add requires copious amounts of walking, her financial affairs, the whole shooting match. She is single, her family are all in Germany and she has no contact with her offspring. All this would be just fine had it not been for the fact that once diagnosed with angina and home, she seemed to decide she rather liked my taking care of her and for what turned into months I did her shopping, accompanied her on various trips to the doctors, fetched and carried her friends to an from Edinburgh airport ( around trip of 140 miles) and walked the damn dog at least three times a day to her appointed timetable.

Eventually this situation began to.... er.....shall we say, rather piss me off, I couldn't extricate myself easily from the situation and felt guilty for trying. As time progressed and the months wore on though, with a swift boot up the rear courtesy of a few friends and bloggers, I managed it and I got my life back at last.

And then it began again. Despite my avoiding her eye, not stopping to chat for long and not visiting often she found a new way and now comes clutching a copy of 'Woman's Weekly' or the 'Saga' magazine as an offering to get through my door whenever she requires something of me. Er....like I want to read Woman's Weekly and Saga? I may be old but I'm not that damn old!

Anyway, I digress, her latest requirement of me was to book her return flights to Berlin, I have the internet, she does not. This seems to be a recurring theme, she uses my things and can consequently afford little 'beanos' overseas. I of course complied and the flights where booked. Not enough, having then sidestepped her best attempts to hint that the dog needs a 'home' for the three weeks away, I then had to find her a boarding kennel. Ok, I did that too.

Yesterday, clutching the usual offering of magazines she appeared, flight confirmation form in hand. Oh bloody, sodding hell , what now!? I thought. She proceeded to tell me she needed the flights changed, fights to be in the opposite direction and in someone else's name! Bear in mind here she had expected to pay over £200 for these flights originally and I had got them for her at £45. Not satisfied with this she now wanted to transfer said tickets.

I was about to explode, to commit a heinous crime, drop the pc on her head from a dizzy height, stuff the bloody Woman's Weekly down her neck, or at the very least forcibly remove her from the premises when suddenly life took a turn for the better.

The reason for this transfer..........she is moving and can't use her flights because the dates coincide!!!! Yaaayyyy.

My apologies for what seems like utter and hard-faced unkindness here, but enough is enough and I just can't help feeling........ Yayyyyy, yayyyyy, yayyyyy!!!!

It seems that at last she has realised that at almost 70, in poor health and without transport, living in a field is not the best idea! It's almost sad, as a conversationalist she is great, she can be fun and we used to be friends of sorts but my life ceased to be my own and I won't be sorry not to have to scurry into my own home whilst trying to avoid her anymore. Oh, and I won't miss my weekly treat....Womans bloody weekly!

We need a bigger house!

I admit it, I detest cooking but hell.... how, precisely, am I supposed to cook should the fancy take me, when PG uses the facilities to fix friend's machines ?! ...... no room for culinary goings on here, heh.


Workshop? Kitchen?

A wedding and an alarm

Lisa's post yesterday, regarding problems her husband encountered over the weekend with his new Harley, reminded me of a situation I found myself in something in the region of ten years back......a tale of technology at it's less than helpful.

The occasion was my brothers wedding, quite a flash affair, he not being financially challenged as I am. Having always been a 'petrol head', it was decided that the horse and carriage or Rolls Royce scenario were not appropriate modes of transport for the big day and instead it was decided he would hire a nice car. He could enjoy driving said car for the day and my then husband (that's the first one incidentally) would 'play' chauffeur, to get the newly wed couple to Heathrow in the evening. As reward for his services, he would get to keep the vehicle for the remainder of the weekend, gratis.

As ever things didn't go quite to plan, courtesy of the aforementioned husband who chose to leave me four weeks before the wedding, nice timing eh? This presented a problem on the chauffeur front. No one else wanted to attend a wedding and have the dubious pleasure of not drinking! The honours subsequently fell to me, I am tee total, the demise of my marriage had caused me to move back to London, the location of the wedding, (how convenient) and the opportunity of a weekend playing with a flash car was not to be sniffed at. This new choice of driver threw up a new problem....what car to hire. At only 5' there are more than a few, that without modification I cannot drive, for want of the ability to reach the pedals!

I trundled around a few dealerships, testing the size of various models, until I found something suitable. The vehicle we chose was a Mercedes, please don't ask me what model for I can't recall any longer, but it was big, powerful, beautiful, steel grey with a cream leather interior, convertible and at the time would have set you back just shy of 80k. It wasn't quite what my brother had in mind, he was thinking more along the lines of something sportier but what use is a Ferrari or a Lamborghini when the driver can't reach the pedals and you have three people and luggage to transport!

And so it was, on the morning of the wedding another friend collected the Merc. and delivered it to us. My brother was to drive himself and his bride to be, to the ceremony and then to the reception and at that point I was to take over. First problem....how does one remove the hard top? Five of us struggled, there was no manual apparent but after much ado it was removed.....second problem, where does one store the top half of a car? In one's living room apparently, under the circumstances.

The wedding went off without a hitch, though there was one small hint of the trouble to come, when leaving the register office my brother seemed to have a little problem starting this expensive vehicle.

The reception, at a beautiful old mill restaurant, was to continue late into the night but the newly weds were to be deposited by 18.00hrs at Heathrow for for their honeymoon flight to Paris. I duly took over. More problems appeared.

Firstly, whilst this car may have appeared big from the exterior, as is the way with such elegance, the interior was most definitely not designed for luggage. Secondly, the mirrors and seat were obviously electronic though the controls were not obvious. My brother hadn't needed to move them but 'Ms. short arse' here was required to move both. Again, no manual. We managed the seat but the mirrors were lost to me for the entire duration. Third problem, my mother was suddenly taken with concern for me driving this large and strange car alone for a 100 mile trip and I was posted away for 10 minute to 'get used to it'. Fourth problem. Where does one turn a car of this size around in a country lane.....the answer became apparent, in the mud ridden entry to a field..... with a very narrow gate! Gah.

Problems having been mostly solved, off we went. The happy couple in the back seat, soft top down, massive leather clad roll bar up, most of the luggage in the front passenger seat, further obscuring my view, this was not quite the 'look' they were after but the only solution!

Eventually we hit the M25, bear in mind this was rush hour though the road was surprisingly clear and my brother, marginally miffed that he wouldn't have the benefit of this car all weekend, instructed me from the rear to 'give it some' and see what it could do. I made quick mention of the local constabularly but hey, this was his wedding, we had ribbons on the front and he felt convinced we would not be stopped. There were less cameras then but I was not entirely sure. Hell....it was his wedding after all and so I duly complied with his request, stuck my foot down and 'played' for the remainder of the journey to Heathrow. He was right and we were lucky, no cops!

Having deposited 'happy couple' at their destination, I took the white ribbon off the bonnet and went to 'play' for a while around the West End, this was not going to be an opportunity I would have often, it was to be made the most of.... and then hit the M25 again to head back. Arghhh....solid, nose to tail traffic, but to be stuck in such a car was more acceptable than the norm, after all, when the rain commenced I had an electronic roof to play with!

I 'chauffeured' a few more people home from the reception late at night and then it was home ....this was where the problems really began. Set the alarm? Simple.....errrr not! Eventually in the small hours it appeared to be set and off I went to bed.

The following morning my father and myself had to drive into London again to return the car to it's dealership. Could we get the alarm to de-activate? Could we hell. It appeared there were two, one for use with the top on, one for use with the top off. Which was which remains a mystery to this day, still no manual. This was 7.30 on a Saturday morning and we fought for an hour and a half, with the alarm sounding continually, to restore peace to the neighborhood. Eventually in desperation we found a number for the dealership and called. The only person there was a valet but he instructed us that the manual would be in the glove compartment. Great! Not great! The glove compartment was locked, we had no key! Mr valet man hunted around his employers premises and eventually tracked down a manual and there we stood, now deafened by the constant alarm, in the rain, cell phone to ear, for a further 20 minutes trying to disarm said alarm........big flash car, little stupid driver, annoyed neighbours....not cool!

Oh bliss, oh quietness, oh embarrassment over......the alarm finally fell silent, we hoped and we prayed for it to keep quiet, we could not be sure, we were after all not sure how we had silenced it. And then we had to get the hard top back on....again no manual.....just don't go there! Heh.

Trauma over and off we set. 'How the other half live' became much in evidence. Ok, so if I take my little car to a dealership to be serviced I am lucky to get a courtesy car. On returning this Merc. to it's home, we were immediately provided with a driver, complete with another very nice car, to return us on our journey home! We opted instead, feeling we deserved a treat, to be taken into the West End, where father and daughter enjoyed some R&R for the rest of the day.

Mercedes may well provide very nice cars and very nice services it's just a shame they don't provide very nice manuals that their clients can access! :o)

I dare ya

Blogsurfing this evening I found that Jennifer of Jennifers World had posted a picture of herself at age 4. I have possibly missed the point here, it's probably part of a meme and I missed the plot somewhere along the line but as I have a picture of yours truly at the same age, I thought I would brave the inevitable wisecracks and post mine too.

And yes, it was 40 bloody years ago, no my hair is not still that colour but I hope my fashion sense has improved somewhat and I have ditched the knee socks!

Apologies for the quality.....it was er....some time ago!





Anyone else dare?

Spring has sprung

Comforting isn't it, when things return to normal! Not.

Of what normality do I speak, why, I am British, the weather of course. Spring, as we know it, has most definitely sprung over this past weekend and has hastened it's arrival this morning. Note please that I say 'as we know it', for rain has poured down with boring monotony, the wind has howled and the river that runs through the field behind us here, has burst it's banks. Drenched lambs, looking folorn, have been forced onto slightly higher ground, calves are huddled against what hedges they can find for shelter and every daffodil and tulip that had the audacity to poke it's pretty head above ground is flattened.

Yup....spring as we know it is certainly very much in evidence!

Five scents meme

I have finally got around to Lisa's five scents meme....almost a week late but better late than never I suppose!

So here goes, my favourite 5 scents:

1. Poppy's coat.
2. Joop.
3. A two stroke engine.
4. Patchouli....yeah ok, I'm a child of the 70's!
5. Leather.

What are yours?

Excuse me??

Every once in a while something small happens that really 'gets my goat' and reminds me just how insensitive and rude some people can be!

This afternoon during work, I was having a conversation with a colleague about marriage, or rather the fact that at approximately the same age I have been married twice whilst she hasn't been married at all. It was a relatively light hearted conversation, just one of those little chats one has in a few spare moments, nothing heavy, nothing long winded.

At the tail end of this conversation colleague number two butts in uninvited, with a little gem aimed in my direction. "Well I wouldn't boast about it" she said, looking me in the eye!

Excuse me??, boast about what I asked, "being married twice" came the reply, er....I wasn't I answered, "it was a statement of fact". "Well you don't seem to mind discussing it" she retorted, "no, you are right I don't I said......"but I would appreciate it if you didn't make judgments about me without finding out the facts first". One of those uncomfortable silences ensued, she was a little taken aback, as the norm I usually take the inevitable jokes I seem to be the butt of from time to time and smile sweetly(ish), but this time my tone was somewhat terser.

What had really aggravated me was that she had made assumptions about my morals and integrity and was judging me accordingly knowing very little about my situation. This particular lady is a long time married, very moralistic and idealistic individual, who has a tendency to moral superiority. Don't get me wrong, we are generally quite friendly and I admire her integrity but I do not like her attitude toward what she sees as we 'degenerates'. We have been this route before on other subjects but she is rarely to be persuaded that not everyone is the same as herself but that does not make them lesser beings!

I have been vaguely aware that she 'disapproves' of my marital history but until now she had never said anything quite so insensitive. Not entirely put off she approached the subject again to suggest that as I had 'run off with someone' she wasn't sure how she had been insensitive. Ok, let's put her straight here I thought and proceeded to enlighten her that my first husband had woken up one morning after 14 years of marriage, told me he didn't and had never loved me and shot through. I lost my home and job and was forced to move 200 miles back to my parents, I have no idea why to date...... and had he not taken the action he did, I probably would still be married to him.

Her face was an absolute picture, I think I made my point!

This kind of judgmental insensitivity is something I usually come up against where the "do you have children" question comes up. I am always surprised by the number of people who will ask in the first place why I don't have children and then tell me I must be odd or selfish not to have had them. Do these people ever think that maybe I don't have offspring because maybe I couldn't have them, do they ever consider that they might be directing these judgments toward someone who's life is blighted by the lack of a child....I doubt it.

Just for the record I don't have kids because I chose not to, in the main circumstances where never right and I was never massively maternal but those that ask in such a condescending manner don't know that!

Can you tell colleague number two annoyed me? Whatever happened to diplomacy and tact!

Friday's feast (43)

Appetizer
What was your first "real" job?
Retail sales at Bourne and Hollingsworth, Oxford Street.

Soup
Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity?
Kew Gardens or an art gallery.

Salad
Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when...
...I feel intellectually out of my depth.

Main Course
What values did your parents instill in you?
Honesty, the importance of family and that money isn't everything.

Dessert
Name 3 fads from your teenage years.
'Slinky'
Rubix cube.
Glam rock.

Bogus blogs

I wondered how long THIS would take to happen! That said, 200 in 8 million, I don't think I will be losing sleep just yet.

What is it they say.......

about the best laid plans of mice and men going awry? It seems that birthday plans are not immune from this prognosis!

Having dithered somewhat yesterday morning as to where to spend our day I finally settled on the Scottish Seabird Sanctuary. Regulars here may recall that on New Years Day we made our way there with my parents without appropriate fore-thought and only realised on our arrival that it being deepest midwinter, there weren't going to be any birds......save for perhaps the odd seagull!

So plans made and and having watched seals and puffins on the sanctuary's webcams earlier in the morning, off we set in bright spring sunshine clutching camera and binoculars. Shopping by comparison seemed quite dull and hell.....I have lived here for three years and not seen a Puffin, it was about time I did. This place I had also noted on our last abortive attempt to visit has a coffee shop that serves a particularly acceptable latte and chocolate fudge cake!

(Pics, as ever, are clickable)

The as yet unseen Puffin. © Laurie Campbell.

Of course it was not to be. Almost within sight of the place the heavens opened, stair rods of rain, hail and sleet, vision obscured, sunlight gone! We persevered, after all we are British, we are used to this, it would pass we said....did it hell!

At the point we had to turn off the main road north a decision had to be made, no point going to see sea birds when the sea was barely visible. A new plan was hastily formulated and we headed instead for the closest shopping mall. Edinburgh city centre is beautiful but it is the most horrendous place I have ever the misfortune to experience where it's parking is concerned so we took the 'out of town' option instead.....and headed for lunch.


Bass rock in the rain.

'Out of town' shopping rarely has anything inspiring where lunch is concerned but this place did at least boast a Pizza Hut so Pizza Hut it was....one of those 'eat all you can for a set price' affairs, and eat we most certainly did, whilst we were entertained by the manager, most of whose staff had called in sick that morning and who was trying desperately to do the jobs of five staff alone and look calm. Oh how well I know that feeling. It was kinda funny to watch someone else and wonder if I look that harassed on the average Saturday.

Whilst eating copious amounts we made plans to peruse the local retail establishments and then go to the cinema, have dinner and meander home at a leisurely pace. That didn't happen either! 'Post lunch' we both felt fit for nothing, yes of course we had eaten too much, you just have to in those places, it's part of the deal. We staggered around a few shops, made one or two purchases and then headed for the multiplex BUT..... half way there we looked at one another, neither wanting to be the first to say that all we wanted to do was go home and chill. It was agreed, we hastily made our way to the car and set off homeward.


Firth of Forth.

We did at least make the effort to drive home along the beautiful coastal route. We stopped at the spot the boat sails to Bass Rock and Fidra from, to see the birds we never got to see..... and discovered that whilst the website is excellent in every other respect, it fails to tell one that sailings don't begin until the 16th April!!!! I took a few pictures, we briefly discussed if sex on the beach would be a good idea in the inclement conditions, decided that a charge of indecency bestowed upon us courtesy of Lothian and Borders constabulary was most definitely not the thing of fantasies or the kind of memorable birthday incident we were after..... and beetled off back home, where we collapsed in a heap to watch Coronation Street and stuff cream cakes!

I didn't even check my email....now that is tired!.

The moral of this story? Try to obtain more than 6 hours sleep in the 48 hours previous to a birthday. :o)

Birthday, birthday, birthday!

Well that's it, late last night I counted down the final seconds of yesterday, giggling and joking and with PG reminding me of my age as midnight rolled over into my birthday! My advancing years are occasionally the butt of jokes here given that he is, er..... somewhat younger than me. This year I can't even claim 'error' on forms and in the telling, I have to admit my true age, for both digits are the same. So here, live and uncut, in this world wide forum I admit it, this is a once only offer, never to be repeated......I am today 44!

Somehow 43 was a lot younger, transposition, in error of course, made me merely 34 but 44, no chance. PG, I might add has a fair number of years yet to hit even 40...gah!

Admissions over and onto the more fun aspect of birthdays. Despite an extremely late night the child in me was up again, coffee and cigarette (paints an elegant *not* picture doesn't it) in hand and ready for present opening by 7....PG was still in the land of nod but by 7.30 had been prodded into some degree of conciousness to attend the paper ripping activities. Ditto was of course assisting, in fact had already assisted overnight it seems. I could have sworn that ribbon on one gift had been tied in a pretty bow last night. Not so this morning! :o)

Therein was to be found things of delight, from PG, a USB2 interface card (yayyy, God love him), a Portmerion Studio cat, clothes and a set of porcelain mugs bearing images of sumptuous chocolate cake. I can't imagine why my sister should consider that appropriate....I really can't, well ok, maybe I have the smallest inkling!

Ditto is now requiring monitoring as she attempts to tie herself in knots with the ribbon, the best bit of any parcel in her opinion and I have a choice to make.

PG has said I can have a day out anywhere (ok maybe we won't be flying to NY for the day) on him, I just have to decide where! This is not an easy task, I don't 'do' deciding and I know I will get a stern look when in my sleepy state I say 'er...."can we just pull the pc apart please and get the usb card installed"....or maybe I could raise the energy for er....shopping! Hopeless eh? All this beautiful countryside and 'places of interest' to visit and what do I want to do.... yup go shopping! In my defence, I see the beautiful countryside every day, I am spoilt with green hills but real shops, now there's a thing I rarely get to see in this paradise. Oh and of course there are restaurants a plenty in the real world are there not?!

Who knows where this birthday will take us, I could easily be asleep again within the hour!

Ditto's daily chore

As ever, when the daily chore of bed making is on the agenda Ditto feels it appropriate to hinder help! Gah.

This morning was no different aside from the fact that whilst I was out of the room she managed to jam herself between the mattress and a tightly fitted sheet, rendering herself in the embarrassing position of being unable to find a way out! I was summoned by pitiful cat wails to find a moving 'lump' rummaging around in a vain attempt at escape. How she had ferreted her way in in the first place is anybodies guess....but she sure as hell couldn't work out the escape route until I poked a camera lens in one side!

(Pics are clickable)

Stuck!


Way out please?

Fancy a giggle?

Go HERE ..... So cruel but so true!

Do blogs have birthdays?

Mine does....and this is it!

Today, coincidentally close to the other birthday, tsk....wouldn't you just know I'de be born on a 13th, my blog is one year old and for such an occasion should have a particular treat. That treat, coincidentally again came from an unexpected source. Lisa, my long time blog friend, kindly, generously and wonderfully had me an animated header made by blogtogs for the 'other' birthday, which arrived in my inbox just in time for the blog birthday makeover. And who says we don't make real friends in the blogosphere? Thank you Lisa, for one such as me there could hardly be a nicer gift.....methinks she knows me well!

So, a year ago today I began blogging. At the time I hadn't really the vaguest idea what it was all about or what I was getting myself into. I had been inspired by another friend, the commenter 'Only me', who had given me a link to someone's blog. Until that point had you asked me what a blog was I would have made a sound along the line is 'uh'? Hell, I didn't even realise that others gave their blogs an interesting name, hence I saddled myself with the very uninspiring 'gemmak's blogs' which I now can't get shot of, for fear that the infernally flighty web spiders will lose me!

I didn't start off at Blogger, to begin with in my ignorance I hosted it in a cobbled together, home made template hosted on my webspace but it soon became apparent that things needed to be improved and I headed for Bravenet. Unfortunately Bravenet doesn't allow access to the HTML, maybe they do now who knows, but I only hung around for a few days before beating a retreat and making my way to the Blogger we know and love. Blogger of course don't have an import facility so the few weeks post I had were copied into here and and my love/hate relationship with Blogger began in early May.

When I began this as I said, I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn't imagine for one moment anyone would read it, save maybe for one or two loyal friends of old and I certainly didn't expect to make real friends or to feel part of 'something' bigger.

I have loved my first year in the blogosphere, I cant imagine what I did before there were posts to think up and write and of course HTML to fiddle with unendingly! I have made friends here who I count as true friends, have found support when I've needed it, both on the technical and emotional fronts and have been touched by the genuine care that exists in this virtual world.

Some of you have been with me since almost the beginning, you loyal and brave souls!Jennytc was the first and then Magz, Menina, Dale, Lisa, True Willow, Jack, Snowbabies, Kaptain Kobold, Astrantia, WSH and Justitia headed this way. The inimitable BeFrank helped me enormously when he 'advertised' this blog on his and my hits suddenly took a turn for the better.

And so, in the region of 23500 hits later, Lord knows how many words or posts (Blogger stopped counting and I'm not gonna start), more comments than I could ever have hoped for, a baptism of fire where HTML is concerned and probably far too many cat photos, my little blog has reached it's 1st birthday and I thank you all for your loyalty, your friendship and your patience in never knowing if you have arrived at the right place, courtesy of my constant fiddling!!

Without you lot this little patch would have hit the recycle bin long before it made it to a year.....so a big

~THANK YOU~

to you all....

not just those I have mentioned but anyone who has taken the time to stop by and read my ramblings over the last year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who gives a damn

Hurtling headlong as I am toward yet another birthday, I am having a 'feeling old' day! Generally I don't but today I am.

The weekend was hard, short staffed as ever and with Joe Public more demanding than usual. By the time I navigated my way home in the late afternoon, through the ciccaine (sp?) of pheasants which seemed intent upon ending up under my wheels, I was done for! I recall working at this pace for 50 hours a week, partying night after night all with no ill effect...... instead of collapsing in an ungainly heap on the sofa!

Don't get me wrong, there are most definitely positive aspects to 'getting on'.....I could happily live without going through the teenage years and the 20's again but '40 something' seems to be accompanied by bits that hurt for no good reason and is a damn sight closer to dead than '20 something', a fact that doesn't fill me with joy. My niece kindly told me a few weeks ago that I am old and then promptly followed that little statement up with a tactful question, "will you die soon, auntie (my name)?".... having noted my age and the fact that I smoke.

Gah! Cheers sweetie, and I love you too. Kids..... don't you just love em sometimes!

Add to that I have finally been forced to make an appointment to visit the optician, yet again. As if it's not bad enough that I have eye sight that requires varifocal lenses, now even those need replacing. PG has long since been telling me that sitting infront of this monitor, with my head tilted hard back and squinting to get the correct bit of the lens to focus is not how it's supposed to be! I don't like going to the opticians, why do they have to puff that air thing into your eye? No matter how much warning I'm given it never fails to make me jump like a rabbit and feel like a fool! The financial aspect is no great joy either, vanity is not something that affects me as a rule but where my specs are concerned I am just not going to have something planted on my face all day every day resembling a milk bottle bottom! Hence this further sign of age invariably costs me in excess of £500.......which I can ill afford and even if I could, there are things more interesting to spend it on than another item of proof that I am getting long in the tooth!

Ok....that's it, moaning over, I think perhaps it best that I concentrate now on the good aspects of my ageing state, of knowing 'who I am' (well to a point), of caring less what others think of me, of knowing what I like and don't like, of having enough experience to know 'what's what' up to a point, even if it doesn't stop me behaving like a eejit with monotonous regularity and of having the confidence just to be me.

Age.....who gives a damn?!

Recovery

For those among us who have been down the road of the 'lost post'(who hasn't) and the consequent frustrations have a look at this. I'm assuming it's new and that it's not infallible but hey.....it's better than nothing.

That said, typing into notepad first or copying to notepad is infallible, assuming of course the whole machine doesn't give up the ghost at the critical pre-save stage!

Old enough to know better!

I was reminded today of an incident a few years back that at the time was somewhat humiliating but in retrospect was very funny.

Driving home from work this evening I had, shall we say, a small 'run in' with a boy racer. In these quiet parts we have more than our fair share of these creatures. This is the home of the Jim Clark Rally and by virtue of that the world and his son/daughter seem to consider themselves capable of rally driving en masse.

It was thus that half way home I found myself with said boy racer and his pal, so close to my bumper they could doubtless have told you what perfume I was wearing. My day at work had not been easy, I left the place still wound up, and with a higher than normal level of adrenaline still weaving it's way about my small body!

I know, I should have behaved like a grown up, I should have ignored boy racer, after all this was a country lane with a national speed limit, which I was already a little in excess of.....but no. The idiot in me got more and more aggravated by incessant poor attempts at overtaking, at inappropriate moments, and even more aggravated by having this guy in my back seat.

I hit the brakes. Oh stupid, stupid woman. No more am I in command of a powerful machine with just two wheels, on which I can make a hasty escape should I get out of my depth, but instead a run of the mill small hatch, and not even a hot hatch at that. Of course, sonny boy got the hump, none too amused it seems was he....... and the battle was on.

My head said back off, my heart said no way, sonny boy may think he is Schumacher and me just an old git, female to boot but he ain't gonna win this one.

And so it was, I floored it, for 12 miles I booted my poor little car, praying that no rabbit or pheasant would run out in front of me. My car is not made to hang hard around corners but it did well, I sat on the line, I speeded up when boy racer ran level with me and the child in me watched his frustration with some degree of glee.

He turned off first, he never made it past, he shouted obscenities at me and then was gone from my rear view mirror. I arrived home a few minutes later still telling myself how stupid I was and that I was old enough to know better.

Which is where I was reminded of a previous incident.

En-route one Friday night to Chelsea Bridge (for those of you who don't know what happens at Chelsea on a Friday night go to a previous post here), as we, that's my self and my ex, turned out of a junction onto Oxford Street, he popped his front wheel up. This was a powerful bike, I was riding pillion and the wheel was not for hitting terra firma quite as quickly as he perhaps would have liked. Wouldn't you know it, right at that moment Mr traffic cop appeared. Goddamn.

Needless to say, 'former husband' was pulled over, this was I imagine not quite what he had planned, riding as we were in a group of maybe 30. He duly stopped the bike, hit the kill switch and we took off our lids. This is where the humiliation came in. Mr traffic cop knew exactly how to hurt, a ticket for reckless driving?....nope, for a small plate?....nope, for an noisy exhaust?.....nope. He took one look at us both in the semi dark and in a well practiced tone said........you two are old enough to know better!

Oh....the humiliation. :o)

The cat that got the cream

Poppy

Friday's feast (42)

Appetizer - What is a symbol that inspires you?

Canary Wharf

Soup - Name something (either serious or funny) that has happened in your life that you would consider a miracle.
Meeting Mary ~ she knows who she is.

Salad - How do you handle criticism?
Badly, I take it too much to heart and slink off feeling sorry for myself.

Main Course - Complete this sentence: I feel alone when...
..... PG is working away.

Dessert - Name one TV show you wouldn't want to be caught dead watching.
Cheaters. Honestly, no, I don't watch it! often

A false sense of security

Over the last week or two I have been lulled into a false sense of security. The sun has shone brightly, the daffodils and other spring flowers poked their pretty little heads out of the warmer ground and skies were often blue....summer was on it's way.

As further proof, yesterday on my way into work, as I picked up a few essentials at the supermarket I noticed the first strawberries on sale and despite a rather extreme price made haste to the checkout clutching my summer fare. Strawberries mean summer right? Wrong!

By the time I got home in the evening the temperature here had plummeted to barely above zero and a strong wind was blowing all and sundry around. So strong in fact that trying to navigate my way on foot from my car to the front door proved to be so much of a challenge that at one point I quite literally couldn't move forward against it! The spring plants on my balcony where flattened, pots where rolling around on their sides depositing their contents underfoot and limbs of small trees where no longer attached.

The night was no improvement, the roof rattled constantly, the temperature dropped further and the wind howled unhaltingly around the building. Ditto, displeased, was not for venturing out and instead 'danced' loudly around the flat, expending copious amounts of energy, all night long.

This morning....can you believe it....it is snowing!! This is not snow of massive proportions, we are in no danger of becoming blocked in but none the less, this is April, this is spring is it not?....and we have snow?? Ok, so I love snow, waited all winter for snow but in April? It is not unheard of granted but just two days ago it was positively summery, very p