Damn, I'm wrong again......

......in that my limited intellect had previously understood the task of a delivery company was to deliver!

It would appear not to be the case and if my experience yesterday is anything to judge the remit of such a company by, then that remit seeming includes in it's description, lying, laziness, bad manners and stupidity!

We have all been there, I was promised a long awaited delivery would at last be with me by 18.00 hrs yesterday, why I ever believe these promises is beyond me. Perhaps I have an inherent and latent ability to take the word time after time, of one inefficient company after another.... or perhaps I just can't actually believe, in my naivete, that delivery companies are just so appallingly useless!

So, as you will have guessed, I spent the entire day sat indoors awaiting this delivery. It is not relevant here that for me it was no serious inconvenience and meant a whole day of uninterrupted computer fiddling, something I am most certainly not adversed too, with no guilt that I should be doing something else. I was after all doing something else, I was waiting for a delivery!

Suffice to say that by 15.00 there was still a noticeable lack of anything being delivered and so began the 'tracking' kerfuffle. Off to the appropriate website I went, nothing concrete there so the next step was to navigate my way through the 'delightful' menu system on the company in questions telephone helpline.....help line my foot! I could have walked to Lockerbie and collected the damn parcel myself in the time it took to speak to a human being. That finally achieved, I was assured the parcel was still in transit and would grace my home before 18.00.

17.45.........another journey through the telephone helpline menu and more reassurance that I would receive my delivery, if slightly late, the driver was behind schedule. Alarm bells were ringing in my mind now, in my heart of hearts I knew, I just knew it was going to be a no show, but on I go, hope against hope that just this once, what the company say they will do, and what they actually do, will bear some similarity.

Do the words stupid woman spring to mind here? if not they should.... 18.10 sees yet another phone call............oh knock me down with a feather, the parcel is not going to arrive, I am informed tersely by a woman who's customer service training was presumably with a far flung guerilla warfare unit.

Reason: The driver couldn't find the address!

Excuse me? I had understood that one of the skills necessary for a delivery driver was to find addresses, it seems not. I accept we live in an out of the way spot but hey, we have made it onto most data bases these days and we do have a post code! Seemingly that was not enough information for this driver, he got to the village and maintained he asked directions at the local shop....codswallop, believe me if he had I would have received my delivery. In a place as small and insular as this he could have asked anyone for this address and he would be told. Every one knows everyone...........and a lot more besides.

Mr white van man no doubt was late, rushed past the village shop en route to his supper and decided upon the suitable tale of woe he would present to his logistics department.

So did I receive an apology? an offer of a timed delivery today?.......did I hell. The lady (I use the description loosely) on the other end of the phone seemed to be blaming me for this debacle with weak excuses along the lines of "it's difficult to find" and "it's a new postcode".....come on lady this house has been here 200 years, how new is that?

This I might add is a multi national delivery and courier company, the terms mobile phone, delivery tracking, GPS and bloody common sense spring to mind!

Exasperation at the limited intellect and outrageous lack of customer service prevailed and an email of complaint was hastily rattled off last night, doubtless it will not be acknowledged let alone replied to.

How do some of these individuals keep their positions of employment I wonder?

And thus, today I have another day 'forced' to reside infront of my computer, guilt free and ready to 'have words' with the driver should he ever appear. I won't hold my breath......